from sorrow to smiles

its been a tough week, a lot of souls to tip one back for, first ed mcmahon, then farrah and of course michael. i wasn't much of a jackson fan but the deaths of farrah and ed rocked my world. like most of us here in the trailer park i have been dreaming for years to open the door to ed holding that big cardboard check with my name on it...ms noreen j walker...so since that dream has now gone down the drain i immediately ran up to the kwik stop and bought myself a cool $20 worth of scratch off lottery tix...and wouldn't you know it i won $1,000 -- can you believe it, me the unluckiest person in the world a winner -- no i didn't win the $10M, but really does anyone, i am sure it is a hoax to take our hard earned government money. so with this grand burning a hole in my polyesters i remembered about that to die for

gold 1989 lincoln town car that i saw down on the car lot...and to top it off ed style i even got to keep the balloon attached to the antenna reminiscent of the balloon bouquet those lucky ducks got with their big cardboard checks. well that's all for now -- gotta take a cruise in the town car.

man the looks i get around the trailer park...thinking of getting some vanity plates...i'll keep ya updated, can't wait to drive it up in style to the family reunion in a couple months...stay tuned...njw **RIP ED**

Happy Freakn Easter

saturday night special

Yeah Yeah, I know these posts are few and far between but shit

be glad I friggin do them at all..

Anyway..

Remember my sister

Avis

and

her boyfriend Kenny... well, Avis calls me this A.M> between my morning cup of folgers and my 3rd cig and wants me to accompany her and Kenny to some friggin banquet night at the

Moose Lodge.. What the hell do I need to go for? I ask her...Well bottom line Kenny decidedto take the early retirement package from the factory and there's a party in his honor tonight...Avis needs someone to go with her because hes just like all these old factory boys that can't hold their liquor like they could twenty years ago. Avis needs me there to make the emergency exit before the men become boys...nothing good can come of that

SOoooooooooooooo--She picks me up an hour later and we are off to the beauty shop for a wash and set on Avis of course, I wasnt do for another one for at least

another week....

Avis wanted to hit the mall next but I had to draw the line somewhere. Hell no am I going into that suburban hell, the prices are downright ludicrous-nothing wrong with the wranglers and the Jaclyn Smith line at k-mart for a fraction, a mean fraction of the price...plus I had to get home and have a couple before she and Kenny picked me up.

This is the dress i finally settled on ...

been in my closet for round five years...got it for cecil's wedding (per-janice) that never came to fruition due to cecil's bachelor party escapades....like i said before its never good when the men become boys thanks to a bit o'alcohol....but, hell, let's cut loose tonight...

it shots of jack and tequilla shooters for me....

Kenny's sister Bobbie K is supposed to make an appearance tonight...good lord, i go for years without seeing that lady but she doesn't change one bit -- same bitter old lady who looks down on the rest of us just cause we enjoy a pull of beer here and there....but then again

the good Lord was not kind to her - just look at that mug.
well gotta run before kenny's a honken at the curb...wish me luck --njw

nascar baby!

did you all see it? daytona was last sunday--how freakn exciting is that? i almost had to put my depends on i was so excited! anyway, all that hype and the race was a dissapointment...finished uunder caution due to rain>>>cheap i tell you ...if you cant drive in the rain what good are you??? i have not been around blogland for a while...out christmas trip to florida was extended because cecil"s gout flared up and i wasn't drivin that heap of a van through the mountains in virginia...ugh what a drive..did manage to stop of and pick ethel up a earnhart shirt...did i mention dale jr ran like shit on sunday..caused about a 20 car crash late in the day...he'll never live up to his dad's legacy..long live big E.....speaking of ethel and her new nascar shirt>>>you'll never guess what she got me..check out my new bowling shirt....these shots were taken superbowl sunday...not a stool in the bar to be had so we hit the billiard hall>>shoot even the commercials suck these days...

this weekend i am gettin my wig busted..haven't been to the beauty parlor in years but avis got me a gift certificate for christmas...so i'm off for a wash and a set...stayed tuned for the finished product...oh boy the smell of white rain aerosol...gotta love it.

I'm Outta Here....

well changes a muck this year, we are all headed to florida...yes, we finally gave into marlene's nagging and are making the trip to her trailer court in sunny florida...one of marlene's past trailer court tenants passed away and left her a bit of cash...cecil, avis and i are renting a minivan from budget and heading south....no kids..thank the good lord..remember i about had a nervous breakdown at thanksgiving....wish us well on our journey, we leave monday and cecil has the stops mapped out thanks to earl his trucker buddy...the best priced gas and slim jims from columbus to tampa.....happy holidays my friends.

turkey day come, turkey day go

another one in the books - another fresh batch of gray hair...i must be getting OLD because all these damn nieces and nephews never fail to get on my last nerve -- this year all the kool milds, old milwaukee and xanax couldn't compete with them. just wait until christmas and they are all jazzed up on christmas cookies and other festive sugars oh yeah wait that can't be any worse than the monster sized Rockstar energy drinks they all picked up at the service station...i had big plans this year....special to do with my spam creation..... in years past we have just had cold cuts but i thought i would bring back the spam tradition with a twist -- shaping the spam into a turkey, well not as easy as it sounds and it was just a plain ole loaf o'spam...i took some photos with my kodak disk but walgreens told me they haven't developed film from a disk in fifteen to twenty years i say that's a load....just b/c i don't have a fancy you can see the picture immediately camera i can't get my pictures developed? i was so angry, i threw down my Kool Milds, told the kid to pull up his damn pants and promptly went straight to discount drug mart...where i was again heckled for using a camera from the eighties...what's wrong with that my car is the same age and still gets me from a to b.....all this and it was black friday...what is wrong with these people??? i just don't understand, why, why, why, i ask you?????

well one of those teenagers just popped by and loaded a couple pictures of our Velveeta spam

and she scanned me in a old picture of cecil with cecil, jr., his ex-wife and great aunt wanda....not getting me in the christmas spirit at all but maybe it will help one of you all out there...and just in case you don't remember the kodak disk i had my niece take a shot at my apparent antique camera..you betcha still in **mint** condition....

now i am off to the bowling alley to claim my stool and relax with a tall one and of course my kool milds....

freakn halloween

i know i know get off my back already people...i have been busy with league tourneys at the alley and not enough time to update this nonsense just for everyone elses enterfreakntainment. anyway, i had to chaperone a halloween party in late october and i think i am still recovering...it was nothin like we have around the trailer court, we have some sheets over the head and plastic masks anything for an excuse to get together with a keg of old milwaukee...

look at these costumes - can you believe it..the money spent on these costumes could buy me a crate of Kool Milds...

and to top it off..no bobbing for apples? come on, have you ever been to a party in october and not bobbed for apples? it like going to the high school fun fest and not having a dunk tank. bobbin for apples around the court is always full of shenanigans and a lot of ruckus especially if cecil jr and dale are around..always think its funny to hold some new guys head under until he shooting water out his nose...such nonsense.